Reminiscience
by Kairii O.C
Summary: A side of Momiji no one ever knew... and may never will.


I wondered, if this was how Tohru-san felt, the day her mother was in that awful accident.

As I sat by Momo's bedside, this was only one of the many thoughts that were going through my head, like an echo, working in reverse. Repeating over and over in my mind, blending in with the other thoughts, growing louder and louder. Tohru-san, is this how you felt, that day? Will Momo...die? Just like Tohru's mother did? It was a terrible thing to think, I know. But...as hard as I tried, I couldn't forget that one thought.

_Papa's going to yell at me when he finds out..._I said to myself, my hands clutching the hem of my jacket, my knuckles turning white. For the first time, I realized I was shaking, I didn't know why. And yet, at the same time, I did know.

When I first came into the hospital, even the lady at the front desk, knew who I was. But...but Mama and Momo couldn't know. To them, I was just some kid with the same last name, some kid named Momiji Sohma. If the receptionist could know...if a complete stranger could know who I was, then why couldn't Mama and Momo? Why couldn't they learn, that I was her son, and Momo was my sister?

I hated it.

I knew the answer, but there were times when I would just remember, and it would hurt so much. I wanted to cry. Why was I rejected the one thing I truly, and honestly wanted? If we could just walk home together as a family, just once, I would be happy. I could live with the curse. I didn't mind, transforming into some sort of animal whenever someone hugged me. If it didn't bother Tohru, then it didn't bother me either.

Squeezing my hands even harder, I watched the sign above the room change from red to green. Jumping up to my feet, I raced towards the door only to have it open in front of me.

Two men were pushing a stretcher down the hall. A young woman greeted the two men and took the stretcher from them, heading to the upstairs so the young girl on the stretcher could have some sleep.

I let out a relieved sigh. Momo. She had pulled through, and slept through it all! I prayed she would be okay, that she wouldn't have any scars, or a cast, or any injuries at all.

I began to run after the woman who had carried Momo away. The nurse was blending in with the crowds. Of course, I was careful not to run into any of the female doctors along the way. But finally, I saw the lady, closing a door, possibly Momo's.

"Wait!" I yelled, raising my hand so the nurse could see me.

The nurse stopped and looked at me confused. "Oh! What I cute child." She said under her breath. "You must be Momo Sohma-san's brother." She said with a smile. It was kind yet tired, but not nearly as kind as Tohru's though, nor as cute as Momo's.

I wanted to say yes. But if Mama was to come, what would happen if the nurse said Momo's _brother_ showed up. After all, Mama couldn't know about me.

"N-no." I said with great difficulty. I hated this. "M-my name is...is Yuki Honda, and Momo-chan is a...is a very good friend of mine." I lied. "Can I see her?" I pleaded.

"I'm not sure...only family can see the patient at this time..." The nurse replied.

No! I had to see Momo. I had to make sure she was okay. "Please! I was there when she had her accident, and I..." I couldn't go on. "Please." I begged. This wasn't like me. I'm supposed to be the rabbit. Happy, hyper, cheerful.

The nurse's expression softened. "Ten minutes." She said finally, opening the door, allowing me to enter. I felt like the gates of heaven had opened for me.

"Thank you." I said quickly, bowing and running in. The nurse soon closed the door behind me.

Her blond hair was everywhere, her brown eyes closed. A thin, silvery line of saliva rested on her lower lip. She was asleep, and I almost wanted to call her an angel.

Quietly, I took a seat next to her. "Momo?" I whispered, knowin she wouldn't wake up.

She murmured something in her sleep.

I smiled. "Momo-san, someday, you'll know about me." I told her. "You might not believe it, but I'm your big brother. But something happened...and now I can't be you're big brother. All I can do now is watch..." I spoke to her quietly, so if anyone entered, they wouldn't hear. I bit my lower lip. I had a sudden urge to cry. No. I had to be her big brother. Even if she couldn't know about me, it didn't change the fact who I was.

"Ah! I know! How about I tell you a story instead?" I asked her. "I remember when you were really little, you came to Papa's office, and you were so cute! You had on this little pink dress, and---and you had this white rabbit with you for easter! Do you remember? I told you, you looked cute, and you blushed! And you looked much, much cuter! of course, you probably didn't know who I was back then. Haha." I laughed, remembering the easter Papa let me stay with Mama in his office. I was so happy that day!

Mama showed me pictures of Momo, and Momo fell asleep next to Mama! And then Papa came and took them to dinner, and I had to leave again. But I'll never forget that day...Mama smiled at me.

"Oh! And last Christmas! Papa gave you my present, didn't he? He did, right? It was in the red box. I spent all winter thinking of a good present for you! And Tohru-san helped me pick it out for you. A music box...do you use it? Isn't the song pretty? I saved my money just so I could get it for you!" It felt weird...telling Momo all of these things, things I _should_ tell her when she's awake. Things she _should_ already know. "And Mama! I gave Mama that pretty silver necklace! It wasn't really expensive...But it's the meaning that counts, right?" I asked her.

Momo turned in her sleep, and that's when I saw the bandage around her head. Poor Momo.

"But...today, I wasn't a very good big brother was I? I...I let you get hurt. I couldn't help you. Instead, i just turned into a rabbit." I murmured. Momo had fallen down the stairs, I tried to catch her, but I turned into a rabbit. Thank goodness Tohru was there to help Momo and me!

"You don't know this...and you may never know...but I'm...I'm cursed. Whenever a member a girl hugs me, Momo, I turn into a rabbit, like from the zodiac. Mama didn't like that and...and she became sick. To make her feel better, Papa had Hatori-san make her better. Mama doesn't remember me now...but someday...someday, I won't just be another kid named Sohma. I'll be Momo Sohma's big brother. And we'll be able to walk home together...and Mama, Mama will smile the way she does now...no one would get hurt..." I murmured.

"Honda-san?" A woman's voice asked.

I raised my head suddenly, hearing the voice.

"Your time is up...I'm sorry, it looks like Momo-san didn't wake up...maybe next time?" The nurse said kindly, escorting me to the door.

"Ah! Yes! Thank you for letting me see her!" I said cheerfully, bowing quickly and running down the hall. Happy...that's how I had to look. That's how everyone had to see me.

I quickly bowed my head, hiding my face when I saw her. _Mutchen._ And Papa. I could feel Papa's sharp gaze on me as I ran past them. _I'm sorry.._ I thought, as if hoping he would hear my thoughts. I stopped running and turned around, watching as they headed towards Momo's room. Both of them, slightly shaken by the event.

"Momiji-kun?"

I turned around, seeing Tohru. "Ah! Tohru-san!" I gasped, pleased to see her. "Tohru! Momo is going to be okay!" I said happily. That's when I also noticed Yuki-san...and even Kyo-san, who looked a bit annoyed to be here at the moment.

Putting on the happiest face I could find, I headed towards Tohru, running past her and waved for her to follow. "Come on!" I yelled. "Lets go do something fun!"

She looked surprised, but quickly replaced the lost look with a smile. As the four of us walked out the hospital, my thoughts went back to Momo.

Someday, I'll be able to tell her everything...maybe I was just being selfish. But that's what I wanted. Someday, Mama, Papa, Momo, AND me, will be able to go home together, like a family. I won't have to watch from the side...I can actually be there.

Momo left the hospital the next day, with a few bruises. Everyone was pleased to know that she would be okay. It was just a minor concussion, at least, that's what Papa told me, after he scolded me for seeing Momo without his permission. Momo's a little afraid to go up the stairs by herself. Tohru celebrated with me. She hugged me and once again, I turned into the rabbit. I'm glad to say, I'm back to myself again.

Yup. I'm the same, cheerful, rabbit that Kyo likes to hit!


End file.
